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Tuesday, August 02, 2005

BREAKING NEWS: MANHOLE EXPLOSIONS BY CITY HALL

Less than an hour ago, two manholes on the intersection of Grove and Montgomery Streets exploded. The explosion was prefaced by seemingly possessed TVs and flickering lights in many homes in the area. Cause of explosion is yet to be determined but the consensus among residents is that a transformer or cable blew up beneath the street.

The JCPD and JCFD arrived at the scene almost instantly. A PSE&G truck -- as well as a Mr. Softy truck -- was spotted, but was seen driving away shortly upon arrival. Smoke billowed out of the northwest manhole for approximately half an hour, but flames emanated from the northeast hole for several minutes until it coughed out one final [but small] explosion like a fireworks show. No injuries or casualties were witnessed by this reporter, and lights continue to flicker as of this writing. Hopefully by tomorrow we'll have had some answers.





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